I was coming out of a relationship were I realized that even though me in this girl had alot going good it wasn't going anywhere. She was a dancer and it was all about a dollar. I don't think she could even see herself for who she actually was but she was a Gold Digger.
So in the process of dealing with her I had stoped going to meetings and reading recovery literature, just let my whole recovery process just fall off dealing with shorty and her kids. I had 4 months clean when I met her and 7 months as me and shorty went our seperate ways. So now it's the first time I had to test my sobriety alone. I hadn't developed a recovery schedule/plan yet. My girl was self centered and in my pockets but we were good as a family and it gave me something to do and a family to keep my mind on instead of the drugs.
So I got off of work and I just didn't want to face my home alone. I wanted something to do, someone
to hang out with. So I drove down to where I use to live Baltimore and Highland and I coped something(Crack)! I was well known before I got clean so it was like a family reunion when I showed up on the strip.
All the dealers was mad happy to see me! That was actually a relief cause its not gonna be a problem getting something and the size and quality would be good! Its so many people out there though, who am I gonna buy from. Its like 5 to 6 dealers out there I know jockeying for the sale! Then I here a exited voice call, "My Man Ray Lewis"! I use to have this dude Donte I always meet me by the "Ray Lewis Restaruant" in Canton. Cause its alot of foot traffic at the "Canton Can Company" and no one notices you doing a deal. An I'm kind of stocky and about the same coplexion as Ray and there you have it,I'm Ray Lewis! Its a cool nickname though cause if dealers are afraid to serve so you, show your face and say "Man ya'll know me Ray Lewis" And you've got service! Donte didn't have his shit bagged up he was breaking off(portioning the crack on spot), I normally hate that shit but he broke me of a nice gram for like $40 and the Crack was hard white almost like porcelian! I knew I was good and I shortly would be on my way to High School!!!
So I get in the car head down Baltimore st. and bang a left on Conkling headed to the "BP" for some Stims and Chore boy! It's like late march and this is a big mixed neighborhood alot of white girls tricking, its a nice night too and they're making alot of eye contact! They're looking real sleezy but real sexy at the same time! I have'nt lost a step! I pull in at the "BP" parking lot covertly near the rear corner so I can take a hit before I get on the road! I go into the store and the arab dude wants to rap(talk) like we best friends! Where I been, What I been up to,do I still live around there? Then he asks me what I want? I Just look at him like come on! He starts bagging it up, Stim Lighter and some Chore boy. I'm ready now! Go to the car rip a nice piece of the chore boy off making a filter, blow the fake rose out of the pipe, stuff in the filter, get out a Cd cover and a razor and cut me off a nice size twenty to put on the pipe! I can't wait, for all the good feelings you get from self restraint it feels just as good to give into what you've been resisting! It's like getting some pussy for the first time and eating a crispy cream dougnut on your Birthday!
Then boom boom boom boom!!!! I look up to the left its this white girl I was in NA(narcotics anonymous) with! Damn my heart is beating fast, she scared the shit out of me!!! I got everything out on the front seat, so I clean up some and I let her in the car. She's all distraught and crying! She was always crying in the meetings, my mother went to meetings with me sometimes, she couldn't stand her! Like"these God damn people cry too much!" "Get clean or get high but stop crying"! So she started telling me she got robbed tricking(prostitution)! They got the Head & Sholders and put the gun to her and took $200 dollars off of her! So I guess we both know what been up to since the last meeting we saw each other at!
She sees my coke and her spirit quikly turn for the better! She said, "I could tell in the meetings you were about something, I thought you was cute too but I was trying to get myself together, You know?" "Yeah," I know and here we both are" I saw you too in the meetings!;-) "So what up!" I say, She says"Can I get a hit, I need to get myself together?" "Sure be my guest" she takes a big hit, it rocks her she's stuck leans back still against the seat legs sprawled open wide with these sexy little gym shorts on and straight out of it,GONE! I take mines as I wait for her to come back down and damn this shit is good! Felt like your heart skipped a beat then damn your can't hear nothing everythings glassy and distorted like time stopped moving in slow motion! We both come around all freaky, talking sexually recless, eye fucking, smiling, squirming in our seats and feeling on each other, admiring each other bodies with our hands, all the inhibitions had have been stripped away! She says, you want to go back to my place, I rent a room around the corner, I'm like sure, but lets take one more hit first!!! ;-)
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