"The Only Way To Fly"

I once met this girl out getting high over on Asquith st. & North ave., who would put as much Crack on her Pipe at one time as possible, well now as I think about it to be completely honest their was a prostitute that lived around my way, when I lived downtown, who would do the same thing I noticed first! She use to like me or at least she had her eyes on me, I could see the attraction as she would sexually look at me in and out of on my way to my house everyday! It was obvious too, she would spit her game right in front of my girlfriends who would come to visit me! To a person not from the street it probably sounded like some Crackhead that's high gibberish talking shit! As a man and someone who has a ear for the street! All the attention was saying, "I see your attraction and when ever your girl friend isn't around you can get it aka I will fuck you",even beyond all this prostitute shit, I will fuck you! I thought nothing of it at that time I wasn't operating inside that dynamic of life, so to my conscious mind it really wasn't anything! She was a small joke between my girlfriends and I as I passed by everyday on the way to my life! Little did I know like Santa, my subconscious mind was keeping a list of the game and the vice that was going on around me because soon after I took my first hit off the pipe! I already knew and had scoped out who was who and where all the best places to buy drugs were at in the Patterson Park Area!

 I don't know why but I always thought like this. I'd see things in a places operation methods. When I go into stores I see how it could operate more efficiently or how easy it would be to rob this place. My mind just works that way it always has! I don't consider myself criminal minded, I just see logistics, I think that whole criminal minded thing is just a stereotype for labeling a person who's God given talent hasn't been properly mentored and developed. An their gifts wound up being squandered on some worthless bullshit! So anyway after a little while of getting high on my own and getting lucky scoring by myself one day my luck ran out! I had been living on the straight and narrow for so long my street credibility had ran out! I wasn't known enough or street enough to buy drugs for myself anymore! My hood pass had be revoked, I had been away too long! Which to any sane healthy minded person trying to become a productive member of society should have been the last warning sign on the road to my own demise! The Bridge is out Ahead but that day and any day for along time afterwards, I just kept driving straight off of the end of the bridge! Still not ready to except failure and the universe's message of a closed door to me being able to buy drugs for myself, I went and found me a emissary a messenger of my destruction! Someone who's Crack Amex was excepted all around this hood! Who else but "Happy" the Crack head prostitute who has a crush on me!

 I pull up and I guess after a heavy volume day of tricking(prostitution) I was just another face to her! I thought she would notice who I was right away but as I pull up and started to try to get her in my car she wasn't making a connection and factor in a  all day Crack binge along side the whole day of prostituting, maybe she didn't recognize me! So I say, "Happy it's me!" the guy from the Park! It all lines up and she remembers,"Damn boy I didn't even recognize you!"  I think to myself no shit and would you get in my car before the police comes or someone from the neighborhood notices me! She has no shame, I guess I should have taken this into account from her behavior, since I first moved around there and her involvement with the neighborhood's open air prostitution ring. She's all loud and screaming "fuck these people I'm gonna sell my pussy and can't no one stop her!" I think to myself OK that's all good and all but for my sake would you just get the fuck in the car! Then it resonates with her, "Oh you still have a image in the community that you need to maintain!

" So she jumps in the car and says, "so you finally in the mood for some black pussy huh!" I'm blown away by how straight forward and brash she is about my personal life and we get all into me explaining my current preference in women! I try to explain that it was nothing personal against black women it just was the lane I was traveling and operating in at the time and though I could have went out of my way to meet black women I just didn't! Then I think to myself, who the fuck are you to judge my blackness as a black woman! You are the only black prostitute working a all white girl hoe stroll, so technically your doing the same thing I'm doing! She smiles and admits she never really thought of it that way! She says make a turn and park she knows a good place where we can park and be comfortable so she can take her time sucking my dick and make sure I enjoy myself! She explains that she is really good at doing what she does and she's been watching me and she'd always thought how much she'd enjoy herself if I ever took the time to see what she was all about! She says she would almost be in mind to do me for free! That's only in good sentiment because I know how it feels to desperately want that Crack so even in a moment of wishful thinking it's still all about the money! I quickly change the pace, I don't want to get my dick sucked or to fuck you! Her face turns to a look of confusion mixed with discontent, like well what the fuck is going on then? I tell her the whole deal, I want some Crack but no one will deal to me! She immediately get loud animated and judging again, I can't believe this!

 "Oh shit you get high, not you Mr. goody goody, go to work why are y'all hoes & junkies bringing down the neighborhood!" I'm immediately heated inside and a little frustrated! "Like God Damn I'm getting tired of your shit I just want to get high and can you help me for a profit or do you want to keep on treating me like your my fucking high school guidance counselor!" She tell me to be cool she can hook me up and she doesn't mean anything by it! It's just so surprising to her and that she never would have guessed that I got High Smoking Crack! Deep inside with the cloud of shame now stuffing up the atmosphere inside the car, I'm thinking to myself maybe I don't belong out here doing this shit. An if I wasn't so desperate, caught up in the trance of trying to do some Crack I would notice all the signs the Universe is sending me this evening,"You Don't Need To Be Out Here Trying To Smoke Crack!!!" She sees that she's about to blow the deal. I tell her that I want five twenties and that I give her twenty dollars for her trouble if she can get get the crack for me. She says shit that ain't even no problem with a sassy street type of tone and attitude! She's proud of her street prowess and she knows that her Hood Cred is good! She says it with confidence too, just so to let know me in case I didn't, who I'm in the company of!!!

 So we pull up on the block of Montford Ave. between Orleans st. and Jefferson st.! It doesn't even appear to be anything going on! Though as soon as we pull up and Happy roles down her window making her presence known, the whole strip comes to life! It went from dead to buzzing, these guys are good almost thespians you'd have no idea until it starts moving that they are hustling! One guy looks in the car and checks me out, he doesn't know me a is hesitant to serve us. Happy goes into this loud animated Crack Head routine a lot of hand gestures something straight off of a bad YouTube or World Star Hip Hop Montage of people behaving ghetto!!! These guys don't like all of this wild attention and don't want to turn down 100 dollars either so they give her the five twenties and we get the fuck from around there! I'm just almost as upset and angry as the dealers were like happy WTF is your problem? I want to get high as much as the next person but is it Worth us all going to jail over this? She goes on another rant about she's not afraid of jail and niggas like me a the dealers don't need to be in the game cause we ain't no real niggas! Again the Universe is speaking to me but I'm not listening, I want to inhale and ingest those sweet Crack Cocaine vapors, feeling my heart beat and endorphins course through my vein, instantaneously, becoming sexually excited, awakening all my senses all at once! So we drive over to Fairmount ave. and Washington st. parking between some cars in the diagonal head first parking spaces right by that little recreation center park!

 It's quiet and comfortable there! It's a one way street with a good view of everything around you! It's one of my favorite places to smoke Crack inside or outside! I always feel at peace and have a good time when I smoke there! I'm romanticizing drug use but it's a shame I don't live down there anymore! As I give Happy twenty dollars and twenty of Crack for herself, I start to slowly sprinkle a little of my twenty on the Crack pipe! Happy says loud in her arrogant Crack Rant fashion,"You can tell y'all newbie Crack smokers portioning on bag on the pipe, just put the whole thing on there! I only occasionally ran into others who smoke like this and I've come to like to smoke like this myself! When I do though, I even get crazy looks from some of the most seasoned Crack addicts like as to say"What in the fuck is wrong with this guy?" he really has a problem or I don't see how he does that shit like that! It seems as if it would blow your head off! Frita calls it "slamming" a term usually associated with pushing all of the heroin at once into your arm out of the syringe all at once! It doesn't quite encompass what I'm doing descriptively to me but it's close enough I suppose. An to all you Crack Smoking junkies who have seen this behavior before but have been scared to step off of this edge in that fashion, you should try it! If  your in active addiction and like your Crack! It's truly The Only Way To Fly!!!!