Wednesday, May 2, 2012

"They Already Know"

Some junkies are real assholes and some of us junkies are not! I don't steal, murder or squat on your properties. I just find myself running into you self righteous types by coincidence either to or from on my way to purchase Crack. As you walk by me as fast as possible with your smug look like I'd snatch your purse or that I'm some guy who fucked you & ducked you, even maybe some girl who drank up all your money at a bar. You gave her a ride home only finding out  to your dismay, at the same club you gave her a ride from, she fucked that loser Eminem wanna be who always wears that Red Velour Sean Jean Sweat Suite!  I'm not those Crack Heads outside of your house, sitting on your front steps, leaning against your car in the front of your house with a look of defiance, as you look down from your window at us like, "do they fucking know how hard I have to work to pay for this car!" Then each morning as you leave for work you see us getting our Crack money together, shaking down prostitutes, busting car windows, stealing car radio's & hub caps! Just then you double check the locks wondering will we decide to target your back door as soon as you pull off the block going to work. Knowing in the back of your mind that you just might return home later today because you've receive a call at work from Home Security company w/ The Baltimore City Police informing you that your house has been broken into.

 They need you to return home losing a days pay compounded upon see the mess someone has made of your personal property! All the love and memories that were built and cultivated inside has all been ravished away by some unknown intruders. As you turn unto your block you see all of the usual suspects, the jealous as well the concerned neighbors outside of their homes! Watching you as you go through all of the useless formalities with the members of the Baltimore's finest. They'll be no investigation or any of the tricks you've come to know and see on television shows like "CSI"! It's just and a insecure, unsafe feeling of being violated and the uncertain thoughts of what could have possibly happened to you, your children or loved ones if someone would have been home when this all happened! The police had a form for you to fill out or incident report to file with your insurance company for property loss and damages! The junkies all smile and grin as well as your useless indifferent ass neighbors. While you stew and fester with so much vinegar inside as the Officers exit the wreckage of your  home and you think to yourself, "Well what in the fuck do the police do all day!" Anytime I pull off the block without a seat belt on here they come. Stroll to far away from the porch with a brew in your hand and here they come. Make a right on red and be followed from your car to the door step like your a criminal. Now these assholes who you know robbed your house in broad daylight are standing right across the street from you and the police as they depart your house! Now instead of  all of the harassment usually reserved for mistaken identity is now all so absent and lost on a whole community of neighbors, junkies thieves and SSI recipients! I admit we have a problem in Baltimore but lest not rest the weight of Baltimore's infection squarely on the shoulders of it's addicted population.   

I'm the source of some but not all of this, I'm just someone who followed my addiction so long I made a wreckage of my life! In my personal case I have a predisposed addictive behavior that wasn't diagnose until I already had a problem with drugs. First and foremost before all I'm a human being. I'm just not a one dimensional character that you run into from time to time, that you squeeze in to your narrow Psyche as everything that wrong with Baltimore. Little be known I'm probably one of the people that sells you your coffee, bagel and smokes on your way to work. The person you ride the bus home with every night that makes it a little more comfortable to wait on the secluded bus stop. Always with a kind word or a funny story to get you ready for or through your day with something good to say! Lifting spirits a little when the rest of this fuck up city could give a fuck less about you. The same person who stopped you on the street out front of a store on your way to Occupy Baltimore and told you that your trunk would probably be a better place for those text books and art supplies until you get back from your rally against corporate injustice!

 I'm not the problem nor is any other addict or addicted person in recovery. The problem is the 300lbs Gorilla in the room that's not being talked about. Baltimore is a dirty man who's dressed in clean a New Suite. Baltimore looks great and all, but we still stink! We're a infected wound wrapped in a clean bandage, as we play the blame game.  In until we address and deal with our disassociated and disenfranchised, homeless, addicted and mentally ill population who roam our streets we will always have Violence, ignorance and one of the largest addicted population in the Nation. I'm addicted but I want to change, I haven't given up on myself but all of the indifference and finger pointing makes it a hell of a lot harder on the way back off of your knee's getting back onto your feet! An when the person finally breaks and you see them back on your corners wiling the fuck out, begging for change, smoking away the new shiny skin and weight gain, in their nuisance attempt as a cry out for help! You and Baltimore turn your backs of them! We have a health department where is the community outreach! An the people getting paid to inform the addicted and infected population about public resources what are they doing when they're suppose to be working.  You think to yourself for a minute and you wonder why! It's because no one wants to be nuisance by relapse and recovery but can't stand to see the user in active addict plaguing Baltimore streets among us. As we supposedly shame our City in the face of  visitor's, tourists, sister cities & company....

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Where'd you go, man? You disappeared right after I started reading!