"Curiosity Smokes the Crack"

They have this saying in Narcotics Anonymous about how even before use most Addicts had a attraction or curiosity for the Drug life style! I believe this is true, that I already had the disease of addiction living dormant inside of me! I come from a family of addiction, on both sides of my family! My farther was a alcohol, crack addict and all my uncles are Heroin, Crack addicts! My mother was a Chain Smoker who quit back in 1993 and admits she never drank or smoked because she could see a pattern of substance abuse in her family that she didn't want to fall victim too! So soon as I was old enough I started having street aspirations! I wanted to get some (work)crack to sell! I saw that the junkies had to have it and from social studies class I knew Crack was a commodity! This was some thing its costumers had to have and I was infatuated with it's life style! A grown man will beg a child, a woman will have sex with a child and a child will turn against his friends and community over the kind of money this drug generates!

I had this costumer Kieth back when I live up in Northbrook Township back in the early 90's! He got high but I liked him and I was sympathetic to his plite. He must have liked me too cause I would follow him around all the time asking him questions about crack and the drug game or he would be following me around doing favors or taking me around to all of the Crack houses so I could sell my Crack! My connection with this drug game was a little more than my other juvenile dealer contemporaries! Back then I remember it was this lady name Lisa, she lived up in Deep in Wood apt! Same neighborhood, she ran a crack house, all day long I would sit in there selling crack watching them hit the pipe, smelling the aroma of the coke and watch them geek! Crawling around on the ground looking for rocks, getting naked, hiding pipes! I was enticed and found this lifestyle entertaining and interesting! Little did I know I was being groomed by a predisposed dormant addiction! Training me, being patient and like a coiled viper waiting to strike!

All my life I knew better, Crack is against the code in the hood! As time go on I began to rationalize  and intellectualize possible drug use! Using my intelligence and reasoning to justify to myself why I think it would be cool to use cocaine and Crack! I'm grown now but I have all these Ideas about how good cocaine and Crack must be from all that observation of users I sold to as a teen! They looked happy and satisfied, it must be right! Its still no reason to put aside your self respect and go buy it for yourself and your dormant addictive nature knows your likes, dislikes and weaknesses and the perfect delivery system of Crack just for you!

For me it was pretty girls! Even before I was getting high I liked tricking with the girls who fell victim to the pipe! Not using it but staying close staying up on where it was! Once it all went down, I saw that it was all by design but as the maze was being built I was blind! I should have known better, regular kids and young adults normally don't participate in the illegal drug activities, but I did! In Baltimore City though you see more abnormal than normal on a regular basis or it's only a few doors or buildings away!

Now things have come full circle and I'm the junkie and kids are serving me! I think to myself how fast things can change. I even wonder about the fate of some of these kids that sell to me! I remember before Crack with it's highly addictive properties hit the streets, a lot of addicts on coke and heroin would run you off the corner for being to curious! Kick you in the ass and tell you get the fuck away from around there! Instead of all of this science of addiction! Before all this debate over whats the right philosophy of what causes addiction and the best method of treatment! Just kick you in the ass and tell you get off the corner and to get the fuck back on the steps! I wish someone would have done that for me!!!            

"Lucky Unlucky me"

I was hanging out with my homeboy Kay before I began using hard drugs! Kay was my man with everything & anything else! Ecstasy, Marijuana, Percocet, Zanni's, Oxy's,  what ever you wanted Kay could get it! Kay had been trying to get in touch with me since he got out of rehab in Missouri but I wasn't trying to play ball! I wouldn't take or return his calls! I had my own life going on and for some reason I just didn't want to get involved with Kay! This attitude I had towards Kay was kind of peculiar because, if you asked anyone Kay was my man, I loved this dude, he was my best friend in a long time! For some reason I just didn't want anything to do with this dude at this time! As I'm contemplating all of this I pull up on Highland ave. & Baltimore st.!

 The strip was really buzzing that Night out front the liqueur store on the corner! A lot of cars were pulling up and girls were jumping out with money in hand, walking super fast up to the dealers getting served and racing back to their cars taking off! It's was like a Crack express lane! I guess the liqueur store traffic masks the drugs traffic! I don't know where the Police are tonight, it would occur to me just to post up right here in front of the liqueur store but I guess then the dealers would find somewhere else to post up and sell their Crack! Who knows, just like everywhere else in Baltimore the Police are getting tired. Maybe it's an investigation going on, let them rock(sell) their Crack wide open(like it's legal), then come in and snatch every dealer and user with a solid case! That's the only thing I can Imagine because if this is not the case the Police are giving the dealers in this area free reign to sell drugs! This is only rumor but I've heard from a lot of the girl around their who Trick(prostitute),say that they know most of the police and provide sexual favors for some of the officers and in gratitude afterwards, a lot of the officers get talkative giving out information on police drug operations and stings! Which is then passed on to the dealers, from the working girls and the drug trade goes on!!!

I'm out on the strip now looking for someone I know who'll serve me, I don't see anyone and no one wants to take a chance on serving me! I'm in the car, out of the car, cruising around the block Baltimore st. to Conkling st. to Lombard st. and back around Highland ave.!!! I'm becoming frustrated! I have a pocket full of money but I'm being treated like a drug social leper! It's making me angry because I'm not hot or the Police but everyone is treating me that way and I know they got the drugs, I've just watched them serve like ten fiends right in front of me! So I get out the car one more time and as I'm getting out the car I see my girl Kelly, she's on her way to cop! She focus solely on her task walking right by me! I flag her down, telling her what's up, that I can't get anyone to serve me! She's laughing at me!!! "It's cause you a rookie, Y'all new Crack Smokers" "Don't worry though I got you baby, What you want? dimes or twenties and how many? I give here a hundred.  She says they'll throw in four extra and could she have them? I'm like cool and I go and wait in my car until she returns. I watched her from the car she's cute but we've always kept it strictly business!

 Theirs a guy waiting for her in a F150 and he's looking at me like who and the fuck I am! So Kelly comes out of the alley going left and the dealer is shortly behind her breaking right! The dealer looks suspicious fixing and arranging his pockets as he comes out of the alley! She goes past the guy she's with in the truck telling him to WAIT, real loud and animated!!! I'm hoping this doesn't break out into something too heated that could get us all arrested!!! She jumps in my car and says OK  nine for you and one for my trouble!!! I don't even get into the extra she talked about. One outta ten is the least I could do for her making the buy for me! She's making small talk now! So what you been up to and do I still live up on Montford? I tell her no. She smiles saying, "you and the girlfriend fell out?" She says, "well if you need some where to chill and smoke your Crack, call me!" I'm going to take care of this guy I'm with, then I'm going up my house! Make sure you call me we'll have a good time, seriously call me in like a half, OK! I smile and say, yes I will, she hugs me and I'm on my way! She's cute as shit as she runs and climbs up in that big truck smiling back at me!!! It's funny I've  seen her a million times out on these streets but she never let me know she had her eyes on me! Sometimes I've even thought she was a bitch, always with a funky attitude! I guess since I've moved she's missed me or missed seeing me around the Crack Houses!

A half hour later I've jumped on I-895 to I-97, I'm out Millerville on Quarterfield rd. My man Kay is out their staying with his sister. She's tired of him and in need a break! He brought her over here from Bahrain, it started out good but he's gone of the deep in and her loyalty to family is wearing then in the face of his heroin abuse! She doesn't know I'm gone too, If she did I'm not sure she would have turned her brother over so easy but I use to be someone you would have trusted your kids or your own personal safety with, let alone your brother! So I tell her we're cool and she gets a couple of hours peace to herself. She gives me a hug and me and Kay are out the door!

On my way out, I call Kelly telling her I'm on my way and she tells me she's got some girl friends up on Faimont & Patterson!!! She asks me to grab something to drink, Newport's a couple of stems and some fresh chore boy!!! I tell her  my man is with me and could she get some Dope(heroin) for him? She says cool just hurry up cause they really could use that drink & them cigarettes, sounding really up for a good time, I hear the girls having a good time in the background too!!! I'm exited and imagining the possibilities of what the night has in store! We get to the door and I knock, Kelly lets us in, hugging us both, welcoming us in! We walk to the back of the hall, their room is three door down the hallway! They have a one room apartment in the back! As we come in I see we have hit the jack pot I see all girls in their mid to late twenties! All small girls sexy and tight! Two brunettes and a red head, good times! Everybody has there own drugs too and are getting down to business! That's the best thing fucking with chicks down here all the tricks like white girls so they always have their own money!!! You can actually chill out and have a good time! I ask for Kay, who has some Dope? All them bitches got dope(heroin)! They speed balling sniffing dope and smoking coke!!! The girls are on Kay's dick! All over him, they say he looks like Collin Ferrel and they're showing him a lot of attention! So we good, Kelly is happy to see me and the other girls are basically  fighting over Kay!!!

 So Kay pulls out his tools and the girls are surprised he shoots up! They cool though and they are treating him like a King! One girl cooks the dope up for him, another ties him up and then the other girl shoots him up! He's getting a full service treatment! I watch the blood and heroin mix in the syringe as they pump it into his veins! They take out the needle and loosen the belt! It hits him, he begin to sweat a little and looks smacked it's good! The girls are all amused with his satisfaction! They are all laughing and high fiveing satisfied by how good the dope is and the effect its having over Kay! While Kay is being broken over by the waves of the heroin the girls are high and tipsy from the Red berry and Pear Ciroc Vodka I brought along. Now they are all trying to take advantage of Kay!!! My man is right in the mix of where most men would fight to be!!! I think he's kind of not with it, but three cute girls, the heroins good, he doesn't stand a chance! Now they have got his pants and underwear around his ankles and all three of them and sharing his dick and balls like a dessert from "Rita's" as they all take turns sneaking lustful peaks at me and Kelly on the bed together!!! I am about the walk over a join in but Kelly pulls me back onto the bed with her and sticks her hand into my pants, playing with my dick! My balls and groin clinches up like I'm about to premature ejaculate  and a hot waves rush over my face!!! Kelly starts to laugh and calls for the attention of the other girls they like, "look y'all he's blushing!" They all find this to be the funniest shit ever a black man light enough to blush!!! Nah nah, Kay, your no longer the cutest shit in the room!!!

 I guess the girls like their men in variety because now the girls are alternating between Me, Kay & Kelly!!! While Kelly is sucking my dick one of the other girls sits besides me and begins to massage my stomach and balls while Kelly is sucking my dick faster and faster as I tense up and cum over them both!!! Oh my God it feels so good, My dick is exploding pumping like a oil rig that just struck black gold! An they are both fighting for it!!! Licking, kissing and fighting all over it, back and forth up and down!!! I look over now and both of the girls with Kay are completely naked and there taking turns riding, fucking the shit out of him like hes quarter operated department store hobby horse! The dope has got his dick hard(They call this a doped dick) and these girls are taking full advantage of it like he's automated dildo! They're loving it as I'm watching them climb on and off of his dicks taking turns like a round robin game! Kelly ask me do I want to get in? I'm like, "yeah" but I just came! One girl yells out, "Sniff some dope!" I'm like I don't really like dope and I don't shoot up! She puts some heroin on a match book and I sniff it all back! I get immediately nauseous! They see it too," Girl hurry up, Girl hurry up, get the bucket he's gonna throw up!!!) I throw up too and I'm instantly high as shit! They're laughing now fiveing to each other! "Look at him girl, he's high as shit,this shit is the bomb, I told y'all, they care both fucked up!!!" They cleaned me up with Wet Wipes and Scope! Now we're all on the bed me Kay and the Four girl! Dicks hard as shit and in another world from the effects of the heroin! Everything is hazy like  a movie flash back scene!!! Its just a haze of flashes of  asses, pussies, titties, gasps screams and smiles as we fuck them all hard and vigorously!!! Making them all cum over and over and over!!! Until we put all of these Ho's to sleep. Soon after I pass out and go to sleep...

 Kay wakes me up shortly after I dose off.  It's day light he's whispering, "what the fuck are you whispering for?" I wake up all the girls! Everyone a little pissed I guess they wanted to sleep in! Kay says the police are out side! We all think he's paranoid! We look outside, Oh shit its our worse Nightmare, the whole police force are fucking out there! I'm getting dressed but my heart is slowly sinking! I'm thinking it's over for me! I'm probably going to spend the next seventeen years of my life in prison! They say life is full of bitter and sweets! Last night was a full of sweets so I'm dreading the possibilities of how bitter it's about to get for us! All the best memories of last night are flashing through my head, we had a amazing time last night four sweet asses and pussies in the air glistening with perspiration, game for some good dick and gave it up to us fully and uninhibited! Now is all about to end so badly!

 The Police hit each door one by one as the girls scurry to clean everything we had remaining from last night! The Police hit the door and we open up! One girl says, "Girl why you open the door?" I think to myself,"Yeah girl why you open the door?" They ask for all of our ID's they check them all none of us have warrants as the checks come back! One the cops finds a mirror with some crack and heroin remaining on it. They call in the Operations Commander! We all wait impatiently for the fate we know that soon to befall us all. The Commander comes in with a look of a disapproving Grandfather. He begins to lectures us all Individually and together! Our ID's say, none of us actually lived around there in that neighborhood! He sweeps the mirror off onto the floor and tell us their only there for warrants, and to get our things and get out! It's our lucky day!!! As we walk away down the narrow hallway free the other fugitives who haven't been so lucky are calling us all snitches and to never come around there again! One girl starts fussing with them about she ain't no snitch! Kelly puts her arms around her like,"Fuck them girl lets get the fuck away from here while we still can!!! We all leave in separate directions, Kelly looks back and mouths "Call me"! I muster what smile I can and nod my head yes. I don't want to appear too happy until I'm completely in the clear.

 Now I'm in the car taking Kay home I think to myself, God is sending me a message,"Everyday from now I'm living at the mercy of his time"!!! With a straight face, Kay asks me, do I want to go somewhere else to get some more drugs! He says it's a morning shop that's just opening over at the West Side Shopping Center!!! I just shake my head holding back my furry & frustration!!! I can barely muster it out but I say "Yo I'm taking you home!!!" He's still like alright yo, I just was saying, you can just drop me off I'll make my own way home!!! I'm still like, "YO, I'm taking you home".....                                

"Two Monkeys can't sell Bananas"

I had met  this guy Joo from New York, who had relocated down
here(Baltimore) to try the Maryland thing! You know get a fresh start, see if he could have the success a lot of other New Yorkers have when they migrate down south! Things were going good for him in Baltimore, he  had a nice wife and a new born but I guess for some people, old habits are hard to break(Drug Selling)! He had got a apartment over there on McClean blvd and Perring Parkway(Northbrook)! We met one day in passing and he started off light talking me up, letting me know that he had or could get weight and variety in Marijuana! I in return let him know I wasn't interested in the Weed but I told him I knew some Crack Heads and if he could get me some Coke it would be no problem to move it for him! To myself at the time the proposal sounded good I could sell Crack on the side and smoke my profits! Doing it like that I figured I'd be able to hold onto some money I normally spend using Crack and if I could stay on top of my discipline, make some extra money on the side!

So Joo told me he'd be going up New York on thursday and he'd be in touch with me by friday or saturday so I'd be able to get a start on things by friday or saturday! So about friday around 5pm I recieved a call from Joo telling me to come around his house cause everything was straight(Drugs had arrived)! I came out their to get the package and then I could try and make some moves! So I get over there and he has a half onze of powder coke! Already I'm like I need this rocked up! So he asks can I rock it up turning it into crack or do I know someone who could! I tell him yeah just to make him feel comfortable and he give me the coke and I tell him I'd  give him a call on monday to tell him how its going!

As I'm walking up the street I'm feeling good! Having that much cocaine in hand isn't bothering me at all(temptation to use)! I had been worrying a little all week how I'd handle the temptation! I'm really focused and trying to do the right thing! Subscribing to the reality of you can't smoke coke and sell coke at the same time! Up in the next court, I knew lady named Toni who lived in that area. She kept a lot of smokers at her house and she'd probably be able  to cook it up for me or put me on to someone who would be able to! I knock on the door at Toni's house and she's happy to see me! She's older than me, like forty five but she's still got it in all the right places, you'd never guess more than thirty/thirty five! She was light skinned, long natural curly sandy blonde hair with real pretty eyes and lips! I came in and we caught up a little! She asks me if I have or wanted to get anything(Crack)! Cause she has the house to herself and she would mind hanging out with me!  I'm exited like someone with a secret cause when she see's what I have she's gonna freak! So I pull out the bag from inside of my jacket! She says, "Is That Real" I'm like,"yeah!!!" She's like your gonna have to rock that up or shit sell it as powder and they can rock it themselves! She asks me how good it is? I tell here that I just got it and I haven't tested it yet! So she say lets do a line or two so we can see what we've got! So we get out  a hard piece and and smash it up with a credit card then chopped it down into six lines! She gets a wide Mcdonalds straw and some scissors cut me a piece and herself a piece! I go down and do a line as it goes down my throat and lungs it good I get a rush of pleasure instantly! It feels real good! Toni goes down and does a line she comes right back up like damn this shit is good, who did you get this from!!! I don't tell her the whole deal but just some of the outline and she says she figure that it had to come from somewhere cause its hard to find powder or good powder at all in Baltimore Latley! She trys to convince me to only cook up a 8 ball at a time cause some people might be interested in buying it raw so they can stretch it  themselves being as the quality was so good!

She does another line and she's up high and cooking!!! She's happy and perky too, this shit is good! She gets the coffee pot, some baken soda turns on the stove and she's off! I'm a little worried cause I'm not sure about if she actually knows whats she's doing or it's the cocaine talking! She measured the coke into the pot, adds about 1/3 amount of baken soda, with just enough water for it to float! As she cooks it she jabs at the oily base that begins seperate so she keeps stirring it to begining to form and resemble crack! I have to watch her closely she keeps tasting the coke from the coffee pot walls, like a kid licking cake mix from a mixing bowl! I know the temptation but if  she keeps licking I'm gonna be a gram or two short! She's sexy though in her little shorts and tank top Shaking her ass and dancing to the radio as she cooks up for me! She gets a cold water picture from the fridge and drizzle a little cold water into the coffee pot and the substance begans to harden inside the pot! She spoons out all of the coke onto a coffee filter so it can dry! Suddenly she puts her arms around my neck and start to dance with me! Pushing me back again the counter slow grinding her hips against me as she makes steady eye contact! She looks real hot right now! I wonder how far this is going to go cause I'm turned on and she's looking real good right now, as she slides her hips back and forth up and down against mines! She turns around now rubbing her ass cheaks up and down against me! She can feel that I'm fully interested as she finds my interest and places it between her ass sliding up and down on my exitement! She turns around and gets a rubber spatchula then skims all the remainder of the drying Crack from inside the coffee pot! This is a woman who knows her way around a kitchen! She then gets out a small step later and gets down from on top of her cabinets two Crack stims! She's flirting and smile with her eyes as she asks me do I want to test the crack she cooked for me out! I take some of the wet crack off of the spatchula and load both stims! I can tell by how it looks while it's drying, it's already going to be good! It's coming back white flacky and shimmery vs biege and chalky, which means it's mostly Cocaine and not baken soda! I ask her for a lighter she's like baby we can hit off of the stove! Ok sounds good to me off the stove top! I lean over the stove to take the hit and boy did I get a big blast with the heat from the stove!!! The stove heat excelerates the speed and the volume of the hit! It uses up the Crack fast, but it's nothing like it, SHEW!!!

She takes her Hit from the stove and now she's got me by the hand leading me back to her bedroom! She's ready, she comes in the room and strips down fast! Then crawls onto the bed looking over her sholder at me in Doggystyle! She looks so sexy and her pussy is pretty! As she tells me to come on, she's ready and she wants to be fucked! I get out of my clothes fast, putting on the Magnum and climbed behind her on my knees as I held around the waist from behind!  Her hair is pretty like a Puerto Rican bombshell or Bi racial beauty! It naturally spirals and twists like wet and wavy! She gasps as I slide inside of her slow, she closes her eyes and tosses her hair over her neck and sholders onto her back! Her red butter pican skin is so sexy and her pusy is wet as I slide in and out and out her! As she curls her lips, clinching her face and pussy walls at the same time, while she grasps the brass bars of the day bed! I reach around and grasp her breast from behind, burying myface into the back of her neck pressing the side of her face against the wall fucking her slow, forcefull and steady until SHE SCREAMS OUT IN PLEASURE!!! She cums, while I'm holding her their tightly! Her bodys relaxed against the wall now as I fast fuck her orgasmed weak  pussy and hips until I reach her in cumming!!!

Now we lay  together side by side in bed, covered from the waist down as we bag up the Crack! She tells me I've really made her night! She didn't have anything planned and the house all to herself! She asked what made me come over there? An if I had previously thought of her in a sexual way! I said you just struck me as someone who was close by, that possibly could cook and not that I thought I was going to get it(pussy) or I was trying to get it! I'm happy I did and the pussy was good!!! Then there's a loud knock at the door and her phone rings while we try to get some clothes on! It's our first customer of the night!!!    
 

"Man vs Wild" Crack Edition 3/3

When we last left off I was in a Crack induced stooper from putting to much Cocaine on a Crack pipe that already had a lot of unfinished Coke on it! Crack is wild, sometimes it can hit you where your up and highly stimulated! Your up and speeding around like your at a rave and sometimes it just hits you ice cold where your just stuck, froze, a truly having a out of body experience until you come back down! As the say in crack slang, "A beam up!" Yeah, Kirk to Scottie! I was gone....

Things begin to return to focus and deep inside I have a internal fear of returning back to prison! If I get knocked for everything I'm involved in this evening! I'll be facing 25yr no parole! Three strikes is a mutha fucka! All the same though, I don't know if it's my mind powered by crack or optimism in my ability to evade arrest but now I'm out the trailer and my feet are on the ground! Standing between the trailers I watch the helicopter circling the rail yard with a spot light! If you read my blog I'm sure you have your opinions about my state of mind! To be honest though I realize I'm a little crazy! I'm feeling like Bear Grills from "Man vs Wild!" I'm feeling like I can pull this off!

The copter takes a long loop, like a girl playing double dutch I'm through the cars and across the tracks into the adjacent woods! The copter pans back around for another pass! I'm actually wondering if I'm tripping as to if this copter is actually looking for me or this is all some kind of coincidence! Just as I'm thinking this the copter hovers over my area and shines the light into the brush! I'm wondering whether or not heat scan technology s real and if its does Baltimore's Police department have this and I'm high as shit paranoid! So I start covering myself in damp leaves and brush to disguise my heat signature! The helicopter bugs out(leaves)! I begin to think if they made me they'll have to come in on foot! Man hunt shit and I'm sure if the Baltimore police aren't up for this. I burrow and wrestle my way through a bunch of foliage and thorns, now I'm on the train over pass bridge at Loch Raven blvd & 25th st across from the Clover land dairy. The police are definently on high alert, up and down both streets and the copter is circling! I run across the bridge and down into the dairy's train yard! The Helicopter returns flying above and spotlighting the car yard! Damn I feel like Wesley Snipes in US Marshall, this shit is out of hand and if it goes down wrong can lead to me possibly beings shot or mauled be the K9 unit! Though nervous, I'm still feeling good about my chances having made it this far!

I crawl my way up a steep incline in the direction of Kirk ave & 25th st! I come to a clearing with big boulders you can sit on. It's kind of like a camp site!  The rocks are spray painted with graffiti, I guess this is a junky chill spot! So I chill, believe the police trail has gone cold! So I could really use a hit or maybe two! My pipe is mad frosty from constantly putting fresh coke on it but not being able to enjoy it! So I cover my flame as much as I can and take a good blast! This hit me good and I feel good and relaxed! Then I look at myself, I'm all scratched up and dirty! I won't be able to make it to Toney's house or car, the police will catch me for sure! I climb down the other side of the embankment! It's a rusty barbwire fence! I'm not climbing this, oh lucky me it a whole in the fence! I guess I'm not the first person to come this way before! I squeeze through the hole! looking down the hill, I'm between the garage and the gas station next to the M&T Bank! It's hot as shit police flying in both directions and I can still hear that Helicopter!

I really contemplate trying to play it cool and walk back to Toney's place! I know I won't make it! So I just wait, bunker down and wait! Patience is truly a virtue if you can handle it! I wait in the trees and the brush, it's obvious they have no idea where I could be! I lay there on that hill watching people get gas, police circling, sweating & being eatin alive by mosqitoes! Then 2hr later I'm in a cab head back to Aiken ave & Darely ave. Toney is on the porch happy as shit to see me! "Yo, you ain't even have to do all that!" Me to myself,"Yeah that easy for you to say, you basically pointed me out", like a hunting dog! He brings me inside to his basement! Two freaks on deck, I have four dimes left and porno's on, Crack on the dresser, these girls  must have had a good night on the track! I sit down and start breaking down my bags! They ask, where did I get that crack from, they can tell it's shorties! I tell them the whole story, they say they thought so! We start smoking Crack and talking dirty and reckless about genitalia as the porn get interesting! Now they want to help me out of my dirty clothes!!!!                         

"The BodyGuard Prison Riot!!!"

I remember when I was 18 I was locked up at the Patuxent Correctional Institution, this was like 1995. I had previously been housed at the Hagerstown Correctional Institution! An a Horrible rumor surfaced about a recently deceased and World Famous Recording Superstar that almost erupted a prison into violence and ruined Movie Night!!!  Hagerstown(the new jail) was opened in the nineteen seventies to let you Know just how new this prison was! I have heard about other prisons in Maryland too being worse, for y'all know it all's, well I've been to them too but in 1994 thru 1995 this place was a fucking gladiators academy! It was full of a bunch of wild fucking animals population and staff! In the short time I was there, I saw so many people stabbed and beating with blunt objects it wasn't funny! When I first got there I was told to stay to myself, not to join any gangs and get out as soon as possible! After I saw a 15 year old stabbed to death over something so not worth the price of his life my priorities quickly changed! I became more concerned with just coming home alive and unscarred versus coming home as soon as possible!

 I remember once I took a chance on missing my cell door at lock in time for a bowl of cookies! I was hungry and a young man, things like cookies still had a lot of value in my hierarchy of needs!  It was like eleven pm. dinner had been about five hour ago! My friend Mike told me to come to his cell and he'd give me some lemon creme cookies! He slept like 25 doors across the tier from me! As I'm waiting by the door he tells me that the correctional officers were about to shut the door and to go and wait by my door and he would throw the cookie to me! As I'm making the twenty five door run the electronic doors began to close! Everyone was yelling, "Hurry up shorty before you get locked out, They will throw you in the whole!" So I'm racing toward my cell door not to be locked out because I didn't want to be subjected to disciplinary action and solitary confinement for missing a door at lock in time! I hear  Mike's voice,"little P, heads up!" High in the air like a rocket from Manning to Harrison, I see the bowl of cookie flying in the air toward me! I'm reading the cookies like a wide receiver as Watch the daylight of the electronic door eclipsing like the sunset! Right as I make the catch over my shoulder in just enough time to have enough room to slide through the door and roll on the floor in my cell! The whole tier  goes crazy, like I made the Super Bowl Winning Catch! The jail was in short supply of entertainment I guess! They loved that shit and the jail erupted in a cheer!!! I was 18 yrs old, impressed with myself and smiling from excitement with a bowl of lemon cookies to soothe my nightly sweet tooth!

 As I sit on my bunk talking to my cellmate! Our door pops open, it's the prison officers, they walk in!!! My cellmate jumps down from the top bunk and I stand in alert! The officer tell us to be at ease, they just want to talk! They tell me they know I'm new and that their are a lot of other White Older Officer who work there, who would give me a beating for a stunt like that and to let this serve me as a warning from some of the officer who work their that were a little more sensitive to race! A week later I was approached by a Black Female prison psychologist! She expressed to me that she new about the violence and Racism of the Hagerstown Institution. She asked me would I like a chance to get of jail early by participate in a youth offender behavioral experiment! Two weeks later I'm shackled from head to toe, on the back of a bus, life as a shorty shouldn't be so ruff!!!

So I'm at the patuxent facility and the jail is trying to find space for it new teen offender section! So they have us temporarily housed with the parole violators! The system had become so over crowded and the streets were so hot the Classification Center of Maryland known as D.O.C. couldn't keep up with the inmate intake and classification process! I was cool though, because it was definitely a lot more relaxed than Hagertown! Where Hagerstown was a Chopping Mall, this play was sweet, they called it Wide Open meaning you could do or have access to anything you could have on the street! Money, pussy, drugs and alcohol! Plus they had some fine ass women officers that were nice and sympathetic to our plight as young men behind bars!!! A lot of us still looked like kids you'd see on the street! Middle school, High school hustlers and Killers!  An a lot of the parole violator being fresh off the streets were shocked to see over hundreds kids 14 to 21 years of age all charged with violent and heinous crimes! They never harassed or tried to take advantage of us, I guess they figured we had enough trouble on our plates to deal with as is! Maybe we reminded them of their families, nephews, kids or little brothers! Maybe they just wanted to get back on the street as soon as possible and a jail infraction with some wild kids could screw all of that up for them!

So I met this old cat name LA., I'd seen LA. out the county jail before back in 1993 when I was first charged with what I was currently locked up for! I went home for six months until I was found guilty! I guess LA. wasn't as fortunate! He was a tough built guy but he had a heart of gold! Could have been a Monster but had a real good heart and a since of honor! He kind of reminded me of Tyson in a way! Mike Tyson not Tyson Beckford! So one day the Movie of the Week was "The Body Guard" Starring Whitney Houston!!!  It had just come out on video too and one the Prison Guards brought it into the jail for us to watch for Tuesdays Movie Night! Everyone was exited, it was movie night and Whitney Houston was Big Shit back then! She was at the Top of  her game and the undisputed the Best Singer Out at that Time! Whitney had the hottest movie and album out when it came out in 1992! Now were in jail their aren't a lot of perks so to get a chance to enjoy something that current is a big deal! If I was still up in the Mountains of Hagerstown, I wouldn't be watching no damn" "The BodyGuard"   So for a couple of hours Whitney took us all away from our problem and back to a time when we were free! We call it going uptown in jail, traveling in your mind transcending out of your physical surroundings! Everyone was on the edge of their seats and quiet hanging on to Whitney's every appearance, expression, words and notes!

 Everyone except LA., He made it very vocal as to how much he didn't like Whitney Houston and how to him, she wasn't shit but a fake as Pipe Smoking Bitch! Now remember this is before the Diane Sawyer interview! Like a solid 4yr years before the whole rumors of the Crack use allegations began to surface! But right now in 1995 it's guy saying when he was on the run, like between 1989/1990! He spent time with Whitney Houston and she was one of his biggest customers! This shit immediately caused a fucking tier up rising! Niggas was MAD, I fucks with(really like) Whitney Houston but these Mutha Fuckas took it personal! L.A went on to say that Whitney and her Entourage would call from the studio where I guess they were working on "The BodyGuard Album" and tell him to get the Crack ready because they were coming to party! He said this went on to become a every night thing and they would stay at his Crack house Smoking Coke until the Sun came up! He said, Whitney was a straight fiend like she was the worst one when it came to smoking that shit out of the whole bunch! He wouldn't back down on this either!!!Even in the face of being increasingly out numbered by a surprising amount of Prison population Whitney Houston fans with knives!!! He was not intimidated and was sticking to his story! As he brandished his own Knife made of a 10 inch nail with a torn pillow case rapped around the end, as a make shift handle! It was on the verge of starting a full fledged riot! The riot squad had to be called! Eventually storming our tier and forcing us into our cells for the night !!! Imagine their bewilderment when they found out all of this began because someone said Whitney Houston Smoked Crack! Which at this time was unheard of!!! They had to turn off the movie and they made us lock in for the rest of the night, no showers, no phone calls, no visits, it was still early too like 8:30!!! We were pissed with LA.!!!  LA. I guess he had a issue with people who put stars on a pedestal! In a whole other stratosphere beyond the range of average humans!!! Stars are up in the sky is what he would say! In his own words, she was just not a mere mortal but, A Pipe Smoking Bitch!!! Damn LA. What did Whitney Houston do or Say to you back at the Crack House????

So you can imagine my surprise four years later when Whitney came out on TV to clear the air of the rumors of her alleged Crack use! She said,"Crack is Wack!!!"  I was telling everyone I knew about the story of the "The Body Guard" Prison Riot and why it happened! Everyone was on the fence like why are people trying to put that bad bone out on Whitney! Before this had came to pass I had knowledge of a source confirming this that culminated with a ensuing Prison Riot! All because of this same rumor! An well we know how this story ended, May She Rest in Peace but just to let you know before Access Hollywood, Entertainment Tonight and Inside addition!!! L.A. already had the Word on the Street or as I like to call it "The Pipe Talk!!!!" 

"My Redneck Relapse"

 I had met this girl from Austin TX via a Internet dating site. She was up here staying visiting her family in Westminster and at the time I found her so charming! I hadn't been getting high for about three months so I had some money saved up! Shorty and me had been E-mailing each other a lot and speaking on the phone sometimes and I had begun to liked her a lot! She had this Houston(Swisher House) like accent and southern charm, I was so with it! Ultimately I went out to Westminster to see her! I rented a Charger, got fresh, my wardrobe was O's Hat, O's color Air max Skyline, V-neck white-T fitted, I'm built (I know contrary to most crack heads) and some fresh Medium Blue Gap jeans! They weren't skinny jeans but they were fitting! So to all y'all thugs the girls love it(a lot of Eye Drops)!
    So anyway I show up at the mall that her farther had this furniture store in. As I'm walking through the mall ain't no black people out there but all the white boys thuged out! So the only thing different about me than them is my skin color but everybody is still looking at me strange. That's some real social commentary for you. I know all these older white people don't think their kids just started dressing like this on their own!

   So I get to the store walk into the back and I see some customers looking around shopping. Then I see this little thick brunette in a Denim outfit with a long pony tail, rosie cheeks and a little cute turned up nose. She's sexy and thick but not what I expected at all. So being as though I'm a black person, she knows I must be the guy she's been corresponding with! She looks over her shoulder winks and mouths, wait one sec! As I'm listening in as she assists customers, she has a smooth syrupy southern draw to her speech and she a slick sales person too, kind of like one of those Rip Off  Used Car Salesman you see on TV! I'm with it though, I can see now why some people are attracted to Red Necks, it's kind of hot! So she get a minute and comes over to me leans over a dresser showing her cleavage smiling and in that accent says,"Now what can I do for you sugar!" If you don't know already I'm hooked and if I had any reservations, I am now on board!

    So after the customers leave we go in the back, she had a little make shift office with a desk, microwave, daybed, table and they' made walls with stacked inventory boxes for privacy. It's a little maze so you are kind of surprised when you finally get back there and see everything! She also had a refrigerator back there filled with all these snacks and junk food, It was a whole bunch of snacks and junk on top of it too(This bitch had more snacks than Baby D)! On the real fast though as we went back there, I saw her do a slight of hand move real quick! Picking up a mirror from on top of the desk and putting it in her office desk draw! I let it slide, I really couldn't make out what was on the mirror and before I could think about it she on my lap with that big country ass, taking off my hat breathing hot on my ears, neck and stroking my head as she tells my how cute she thinks I am! So y'all know me, that mirror is on my mind but I got some clean time under my belt so I'm cool but now my curiosity to use has been pricked!

   We're making out and its getting hot and heavy and in the back of my mind I'm thinking what about the store she doesn't even seem to care? So she starts to undo the my belt pulls my pants and boxers down and just starts to give me head right there on the day bead looking up at me making eye contact to see if I'm pleased. It's good too, she knows exactly what she's doing, it feels just right(the Goldy locks zone). Just as I'm about to relax and Cum, she turns on the store surveillance monitor and says, "hold up I gotta get some of this!" Stands up take off her jeans and panties, so we talking about Nike runners, ankle socks, sweet thick 4'11' white ass, Clean Pussy(Mr. Miyagi), a tight white V-Neck T-shirt,  no bra and a Denim jacket with sleeves rolled to her elbows. I know it's trailer park but It's got me ready to Fuck! She says, "watch the store monitor for me why I get some of this dick!" I'm turned on more by  how direct she is now than anything else! She straddles me as I sit up on the day bed and begins to go to work just trusting that pussy and ass back and forth on my dick! Her ass is so big I can see it doing work from around her body! She's got a big midget ass! She got mad rhythm too just working the dick squeezing it with her pussy as she rides me up and down, she's loving it! I haven't slipped out once, I just get out, "I'm about to cum" she says, "wait" and very alertly jumps down to her knees between my legs and catches me all over her cheeks, lips and mouth as she lick up and sucks down the rest! For me to be the average man I'm lucky and fun doesn't owe me nothing! Megan Fox once Tweeted," She doesn't believe in luck, she believe in God"! I'm sorry Megan,This is a lucky sinners story, you can't put the kind of fortune on God! Then again why in the Fuck am I explaining myself to you anyway! Talking bout you know God? When your career is a PG13 T&A temptress! Don't get me wrong Megan, I'm a big fan but "Stay In Your Lane!"

     Now shorty is laid across my lap ass naked and gooey! She's sexy and she's wore her little pussy out this morning! I'm like damn,"You look tired" She like, "you couldn't tell, I Just Busted A Big Old Nut, I need a minute!" "What's a matter?" with a smile, "you don't like my face in your lap anymore?" I'm good that's the best fuck I've had in a minute! I feel good, relaxed and drained all at the same time!

    A minute goes by and she gets up sits at the desk opens the draw pulls out that mirror that I thought I saw earlier and it has a hard glass like substance on it! I'm not stupid and she's from the southwest that must be Crystal Meth! She said, "that's why I got sent up here to get away from this." I had gotten bad in Texas, I stopped working and going to school,I even tricked with dealers a few times. Then I got locked up for credit card fraud! 18 months later, three weeks out the pen and your the first guy I fucked! I didn't realize how horny I was until I seen your print in those skinny jeans! I say, "They aren't skinny jeans" She laughs,"Then what the fuck is they then, Skinny enough jeans?:-)" "Cool out Baby I'm just fucking with you!" She says, then she goes on to tell me the 4&1/2 oz bag of Crystal she had was stolen from some Biker lesbians she was fucking with when she was in prison! She didn't consider herself a lesbian but admits it gets boring in jail and some of the chicks had "Swagg pumping out their Ovaries!"  So they trusted her too much not knowing her back ground thinking she's a innocent girl they turned out in jail! Now they got the broad fresh out the pen and she's hanging out of her own free will, then she runs off with a 8th of a Kilo of their Crystal Meth! I know them bitches is somewhere in Texas hot, but like Project Pat says, "If you trusting Hoes in this game You's a Damn fool!" She said, "today is the first time she's used since she's had the stuff." Didn't have the urge to use but could bring her self to throw it away. With all the excitement and enthusiasm of meeting a guy after 18mths she says she broke the pack open this morning and started sniffing! Couldn't stop so she brought it to work and now here we go!

    She chops down two big lines and breaks me off a skinny line,telling me how pure it is and I should take it slow since I've never done Crystal before! She takes the straw and inhales like a 1/2 gram size line all to her self and stands straight up geeking, walking around on her heals, toes not even touching the ground! I'm a little worried if this bitch dies I'm "Far from home" like the movie! She comes down and I get too comfortable pulling out my Stem(crack pipe), Her eyes get big and she says, "I thought you've never done Crystal!" I reply, "I don't!",She looks puzzled, as I load stem with meth, strike the lighter and look back at her before I take my hit and say, "I DON'T, I SMOKE CRACK!!!!!!";-)  

"Too Wong Boo"

I had been out earlier driving around in the search for some Crack, I drove down my old way Patterson Park things were dead it wasn't anyone out. For some reason no one wanted to be out hustling on the street. After that I went by Nate's house and the door had been kicked in. I guess their had been a Drug raid. So lucky lucky me, right place at the right which wasn't their a little while earlier! On this evening the wide open one stop crack shop got shut down I was at work. It funny how life goes,people want things to be complex but sometimes it a game of seconds and inches. I guess this is one of the advantages of being the working class crackhead, having a job cuts down on your probability of the problems the average street junky must face, from over exposure to this Baltimore Crack Cocaine Under World! Regardless of it all I'm getting pressed now(anxious) and this was before it ever occurred to me to go up on York Rd to buy Crack for the first time. So basically I've given up for tonight, I'm discouraged and have decided after seeing Nate's post raided house and my inability to find Crack that God himself was sending me  message. I came to the belief as I was driving home that God had spared me from prison by missing the drug raid and by how dry the streets were tonight. I was beginning to take this sign as that God himself no longer wants me to smoke crack! Just as this begins to take root in my mind and thoughts, out of the corner of my eye I see a game sprung Crack freak.

Only a few blocks from home, only a few moments from excepting a opportunity for sobriety, here it is some temptation in a unsuspected place right in front of Good Samaritan Hospital, Temptation! The tension to get high from all the frustration of not being able to find any Crack came over my whole body at once as I was being taken over by a unseen entity. I pull up on shorty and roll down my window as I asked her whats up? She says, "what's up with you" and I say, "I want to hang out if she knows where we can find something". She replies, "I know just the place to go". Instantly I'm relieved and exited all at once. She seems confident in her ability to cop(find) some crack and I believe her. As she sat down I gave her a once over, she looked good but she wasn't really my type, It just wasn't anything getting my juices going! I asked her what was her name and she said Triecie. She asked in return what I was looking for I told her some Crack and she replied as I finished her phrase for her,"You don't even look like you get high!" "I know everyone says that". She asks my age and she says, "I would have guested younger". She says as we continue on, "are you sure your not the police before I take you to the spot?" Because the same thing happened to me not to long ago. She said she was tricking(prostituting)and when they got to the secluded place to do the cop, it turned out to be a sting operation. I assured her that no I wasn't the police and all the trouble I'd been through earlier and sometimes how my clean appearance can get in the way of buying Crack from dealers who don't know me. She says I could imagine because she wouldn't sell to me either if she dealt. I asked her how far we got to go she says right behind the Hospital on Woodbourne ave.

So I go down Belvedere rd. to Hillen rd and a right on to Woodbourne ave. going back towards Loch Raven blvd., I'm thinking all this time it's a Crack House right in my quiet neighborhood and I didn't know. I guess everything happens at their appointed times. In this Crack shit the wrong days or time by minutes and seconds can lead to incarceration. So she tells me to turn left on to Fenwick ave. and make a immediate right into the alley behind Woodbourne ave. She's mad paranoid and being extra cautious but I'm thinking to myself this is a sweet secluded spot and the only way it could be hot is if you or the reckless friends your about introduce me to made it hot. So we ride down the alley to the middle of the block and she tells me to cut off my cars engine and lights. I say is this the place and she says yeah I just got to talk to you first about something. So I'm like well what's up and she says do you have any problem with gay people? I don't have any problem with gay people but at the point I would have care if Elton John himself would have been in there Butt Ass Naked as long as some Crack was being sold. I say, "no Gay people cool". She comes right back with are you Gay? I say no and she says, my bad just thought you may were gay and I had to ask you. I let it roll of my back, I think she was a little burned that I didn't want to trade crack for Sex. You'd think take me to the crack for some free crack would be a good deal, versus suck my dick for some crack but I guess not, I must be Gay!

So you probably would know if you've ever have been back behind their before, that block of Woodbourne ave. is built on a big hill. It's like a two floor hike to the back door. I'm totally relaxed everything has a good feeling to it but she's being mad careful and is so worried like this house is under surveillance from the neighborhood and Police but at this time its a quiet, cool and clear midnight blue night sky. I'm kind of exited to because the journey is over and most of the time unlike straight people, gay people don't play a lot of games. So even with the Crack dynamic, I'm sure it will be the same. She knockS on the door and a soft but male voice comes through the door, Who is it? "It's Triece!" Who you got with you? "A friend he's cool", and a small brown skin gay guy comes to the door. He's in host mode and he's friendly. He's smiling so this seems like this could become a good place to smoke and hang out. The guy sticks his hand out like a girl and I shake it and smile and he invites us in. As I come in its like two more clean cut feminine gay men, two well done but obvious Transsexuals and someone I'm not to sure about, but process of elimination and the homosexual back drop, this is probably a shemale also! So as I walk in its all smiles as their all sitting around like girls smiling like I'm the new boy in class! They're like Triece so who is your friend? I keep it polite everyone is acting civil and I want things to have a good outcome so I act like I'm all good with everything! She says we just met, so one of the boy/girls says I thought you didn't trick. She looks ashamed as if the T-girl was trying to make her feel like less of a woman, though she maybe actually the only woman their. I interrupt and said, I was looking for something and I ran into her and she brought me here. The shemale takes a reluctant tone of standing corrected. Then apologizes more in a way of well he doesn't look like he gets high versus really being sorry.

So the little gay guy goes through a curtain in the back and says cool he has something. While Triecie is involved in a battle of wits with the T-girls, the one who is the spitting image of Toni Braxton motions me with her body language to take the seat beside her. I go over and sit down and begin to have a conversation. A look of jealousy now comes Triecie as if this girl is making a move on her man. She plays it off cool but I can tell she's upset but I'm a person of my word so she doesn't have to get upset I'll hit her off for bringing to her source. So as I sit and wait and get to know the "girls" I'm with I can feel the eyes of all of the T-girls upon me all at once. I look away from talking to my new friend and yes its all eyes on me. Its actually flattering everyone in the room is on you. I guess some might not find this flattering, all the same its a ego boost to be desired by everyone in the room. As I look face by face by face everyone is giving me the fuck me eyes, then I see Triecie and she is definitely not having as much fun as I am. It's almost like I have a gay harem or something, they get me a drink turn on some Maxwell and its a good time. They're all asking me questions as they hang on my every word. It's like that comercial, I'm the most interesting man in the world. Triece is becoming impatient, she says, "what the fuck is taking him so long!" One T-girls is like chill the fuck out, aren't you going to stay for awhile anyway, isn't that why you brought him here. That's the impression I had when we arrived too but I guess things have changed. So one of the Shemales sprinkles some crack shake into some broken down bud(Marijuana) and twists up a Woolie blunt. The blunt should go to the right but they want me to feel welcome so they pass the cypher to me! It smells good in the air, I look up at her/him as I smile and take the blunt, he/she smiles back as I take the blunt and take a nice slow pull, I can hear the blunt crackle and pop as I smoke. The mix of the crack and weed is a good balance. I'm super high but the weed is holding the Crack a little longer than the Crack would be by it's self. I'm feeling good now and all the tension is beginning to be released as I crack my neck, my back and my joints, finger and toes. They all laugh and say it sounds like it been awhile for some one. The reference of Gay sex makes me feel uncomfortable and they can see it all over my face, so a awkward silence takes the room. I feel bad that I wasn't able to conceal my thoughts and feelings, I don't want anyone to be uncomfortable. They were all nice and I was encouraging them. Just then the little gay guy comes back with the crack. 

I'm feeling so good I basically, I don't need the crack anymore, but I came under the intention to buy so I will. The little dude had like a 1/2 oz in a zip lock and asked me how much I wanted. I say let me get three grams. He takes a piece out and slices off the three grams. Toni then asks me do I have a stem. I pull out all of the pipe materials I purchased earlier and give it to her, she breaks down the chore boy and puts my pipe together for me. She then makes a fresh chore boy filter for herself. As we passed pipes and filter screen between one another our eyes meet and she stared deep into my eyes. A funny but good feeling ran through my body and I dropped my eyes as I smiled. Triecie abruptly says "what about me, you going to straighten me out right!" Almost in unison they all let out "damn Triecie calm down let the man enjoy himself that's why you brought him her right?" Toni whispers in my ear just give her what she wants so she can leave. So I chop triece off a twenty five and she has the audacity to turn up her nose. I say, "well whats the problem?" She goes off on a rant of how she's wasted her time and all I'm gone give her is a twenty five. An how me and these faggies ain't right, their stepping on her toes and I'm letting them. I slide the crack back over to me with a playing card like, "so you don't want it!" She gets high pitched and shrill, "Oh you gone take your shit back now, oh I see how it is!" She's trying to put on a good front but when I slid that Crack back over to my end of the mirror, I could hear her heart drop into her stomach! She almost look like she wanted to cry. I take the razor out adding on a nickle more and slide it back over. She graciously excepts this time, rapping up her crack and her pride in a foil gum wrapper as she exited the basement. I would go on to see Triecie several more time as I came and went night after night getting high, but we were more like strangers from then on, you would never guess she introduced me to this place, we were never again the same.

Soon as she walk out and the door was closed behind her, all of the T-girls explode into laughter as I kind of just sat there relieved in agreement to their laughter, but I can't bring myself to laugh, as I feel it would be a since of disloyalty. So Toni brings it to every one's attention that I'm too honorable and ashamed to laugh at Triecie and all of the T-girls seem to find it just as funny. So once everything has settled Toni tells me that I don't need to smoke my shit up, that I am her guest and she would like to Treat me. She reaches inside of her bra underneath a tempting revealing cleavage of a few gold chains. She removes her stash and catches me fantasizing after her breast but this time I don't turn my gaze and we meet in a strong interlocking gaze of the eyes. She knows I find her attractive now and no matter what I say with my mouth, my body and eyes make lies of everything I'll say. She takes my hand and says it alright and lights the stem slightly melting the Crack so that it melts down into the filtered screen. The Crack is still on the pipe but it has just be liquidated down into and saturated the the filter with crack cocaine. The filter has now turned from copper the a ghostly frosty white. I take the stem and take a nice deep hit. I got the hit good none of the smoke is missed as it reaches both lung compartments and the temperature of the smoke leaves me with a burning sensation as I exhale the cocaine smoke just before my longs can stand it anymore. I here a buzzing and feel it as well as I begin to get hot and sweaty. Toni asks if I'm alright and I just motion my head in agreement because I'm so high I can't bring myself to speak. I fall back into the couch as I look at the ceiling while I ride out my high. Toni and all the T-girls laugh and giggle as girls would. Bragging and laughing about how good their Cocaine was. While I lay their feeling great and a multitude of feelings and inhibitions running from head to toe through out my body, one of the girls puts on a sex tape. Its guy on girl and they all notice that it has my attention. I'm awake and mesmerized by the video, its so much more of a interpersonal experience high on cocaine. Something about the release of all of the dopamine the visual stimulation plus the drug induced euphoria creates a very realistic virtual sexual experience. Instantly and effortlessly giving sexual satisfaction,where as sex and dealing with everything that comes with it can get complicated and still not leaving you completely satisfied. Contrary to this experience always ending with a orgasmic high that mostly is never rivaled by the real thing. There is no, no or restrictions, just wild fantasy, ridiculous act, rarely recreated by real women and the amplifying effect of a cocaine induce erotic experience fantasy.

While I'm watching the movie and smoking coke traveling between dream scape drug haze fantasy and a virtual sex experience. I begin to feel a real warm and wet mouth sucking and pleasuring me orally. I look down and its Toni smiling as she looks up at me from her peripheral vision She is going for it as I watch the movie and all of the shemales watch her and me in lust. I have my reservations as to where I'm at with this, is Toni a girl or not a girl? The logic behind all of this would lead me to believe Toni is not a girl, but right now every thing except the live show audience of boy/girls, everything looks right and I'm getting some off the best head I've ever had. Toni is riding my dick with her mouth like a girl rough fucking cowgirl style riding my hips with her pussy. All this why I watch the wildest sexual acts on video. Watching my gay audience watch and squirm in their seats like real girls who are hot in their pussies. Just as I take a another hit of the crack smoke, I climax exploding in Toni's  mouth as the cocaine rush drops down from my head to my loins exploding from my balls and down into Toni's throat, as she finishes me of sucking me dry of all of the remaining semen, down to the last drop. My balls and groin area shiver and quiver as Toni delivers the best head imaginable. She finally comes up off of it, smiling while wiping her chin and lower lip clean, knowing she's done a good job and that I am pleased. I am pleased too!!! A little soul searching to do, a redefinition as to my moral compass, a scattered and fragmented Psyche, but all in all pleased....     
        
                                  

"They Already Know"

Some junkies are real assholes and some of us junkies are not! I don't steal, murder or squat on your properties. I just find myself running into you self righteous types by coincidence either to or from on my way to purchase Crack. As you walk by me as fast as possible with your smug look like I'd snatch your purse or that I'm some guy who fucked you & ducked you, even maybe some girl who drank up all your money at a bar. You gave her a ride home only finding out  to your dismay, at the same club you gave her a ride from, she fucked that loser Eminem wanna be who always wears that Red Velour Sean Jean Sweat Suite!  I'm not those Crack Heads outside of your house, sitting on your front steps, leaning against your car in the front of your house with a look of defiance, as you look down from your window at us like, "do they fucking know how hard I have to work to pay for this car!" Then each morning as you leave for work you see us getting our Crack money together, shaking down prostitutes, busting car windows, stealing car radio's & hub caps! Just then you double check the locks wondering will we decide to target your back door as soon as you pull off the block going to work. Knowing in the back of your mind that you just might return home later today because you've receive a call at work from Home Security company w/ The Baltimore City Police informing you that your house has been broken into.

 They need you to return home losing a days pay compounded upon see the mess someone has made of your personal property! All the love and memories that were built and cultivated inside has all been ravished away by some unknown intruders. As you turn unto your block you see all of the usual suspects, the jealous as well the concerned neighbors outside of their homes! Watching you as you go through all of the useless formalities with the members of the Baltimore's finest. They'll be no investigation or any of the tricks you've come to know and see on television shows like "CSI"! It's just and a insecure, unsafe feeling of being violated and the uncertain thoughts of what could have possibly happened to you, your children or loved ones if someone would have been home when this all happened! The police had a form for you to fill out or incident report to file with your insurance company for property loss and damages! The junkies all smile and grin as well as your useless indifferent ass neighbors. While you stew and fester with so much vinegar inside as the Officers exit the wreckage of your  home and you think to yourself, "Well what in the fuck do the police do all day!" Anytime I pull off the block without a seat belt on here they come. Stroll to far away from the porch with a brew in your hand and here they come. Make a right on red and be followed from your car to the door step like your a criminal. Now these assholes who you know robbed your house in broad daylight are standing right across the street from you and the police as they depart your house! Now instead of  all of the harassment usually reserved for mistaken identity is now all so absent and lost on a whole community of neighbors, junkies thieves and SSI recipients! I admit we have a problem in Baltimore but lest not rest the weight of Baltimore's infection squarely on the shoulders of it's addicted population.   

I'm the source of some but not all of this, I'm just someone who followed my addiction so long I made a wreckage of my life! In my personal case I have a predisposed addictive behavior that wasn't diagnose until I already had a problem with drugs. First and foremost before all I'm a human being. I'm just not a one dimensional character that you run into from time to time, that you squeeze in to your narrow Psyche as everything that wrong with Baltimore. Little be known I'm probably one of the people that sells you your coffee, bagel and smokes on your way to work. The person you ride the bus home with every night that makes it a little more comfortable to wait on the secluded bus stop. Always with a kind word or a funny story to get you ready for or through your day with something good to say! Lifting spirits a little when the rest of this fuck up city could give a fuck less about you. The same person who stopped you on the street out front of a store on your way to Occupy Baltimore and told you that your trunk would probably be a better place for those text books and art supplies until you get back from your rally against corporate injustice!

 I'm not the problem nor is any other addict or addicted person in recovery. The problem is the 300lbs Gorilla in the room that's not being talked about. Baltimore is a dirty man who's dressed in clean a New Suite. Baltimore looks great and all, but we still stink! We're a infected wound wrapped in a clean bandage, as we play the blame game.  In until we address and deal with our disassociated and disenfranchised, homeless, addicted and mentally ill population who roam our streets we will always have Violence, ignorance and one of the largest addicted population in the Nation. I'm addicted but I want to change, I haven't given up on myself but all of the indifference and finger pointing makes it a hell of a lot harder on the way back off of your knee's getting back onto your feet! An when the person finally breaks and you see them back on your corners wiling the fuck out, begging for change, smoking away the new shiny skin and weight gain, in their nuisance attempt as a cry out for help! You and Baltimore turn your backs of them! We have a health department where is the community outreach! An the people getting paid to inform the addicted and infected population about public resources what are they doing when they're suppose to be working.  You think to yourself for a minute and you wonder why! It's because no one wants to be nuisance by relapse and recovery but can't stand to see the user in active addict plaguing Baltimore streets among us. As we supposedly shame our City in the face of  visitor's, tourists, sister cities & company....

"Why Must It Always Come To This"

I consider myself a good person, where some want to be goons, goblins, down ass bitches and hoes, I try to keep a hold on my humanity in the midst of this game! Sometimes or a lot of times this can be a liability in what I do out here smoking this Crack Rock & Shit! I'm addicted to Crack and Crack is usually synonymous with the street and being a so called bad ass or just plain ratchet behavior! A lot of people you encounter want to be seen in this light but honestly everyone isn't build for it! All the way from the dealer down to the user and everyone you could imagine in between. The people who behave this way, I think they are just caught up into the stereotype of if you are in the game you have to act crazy or vicious! I think it's all stupid to be honest! Just because you enjoy Smoking or selling Crack does this mean you have to be a killer also or a manipulative pimp or street hustler that preys on the weaknesses of others? Its false negative programing from movies and TV shows! This must be where all this senseless violence comes in, fucking up the game! Like Kenny Red said in "American Pimp", "Some of them don't know if they want to be pimps or killers, some of them look like Godzilla!" Just because I'm doing something wrong or its considered Taboo, doesn't mean I'm just going to turn rabid Pit bull and become like a animal or less than human! So people can see me in some false light of how I'm suppose to be from some punk ass movie or something! They say drugs don't change you, I don't believe that, Drugs just bring out who you already were but had to many inhibitions to act on hiding beneath a social mask of deceit! You'll have to agree all I've ever been is a addict! Whether it was girlfriends, Sex, Junk food, Self Praise, Marijuana and now Crack Cocaine, I had to have it. All that aside I always have been a good person. I want to have a good time and pleasurable experience. Though I just see the worst of people who are out here using every time as I try to indulge in this activity & substance.

With all this being said, I keep having flash backs of a unresolved last time I was out there getting high and things got slightly out of control. I allowed a lot of people to take advantage of me. It haunts me all the way until today. I was out of control I had a lot of money for a street junkie and it was like Christmas. Enough Money to Buy what ever amount of crack I wanted and get exactly where I wanted to be as far as that feeling of satisfaction inside that sometimes ends to soon. When you only have enough to get there but not enough money to take a second trip to the mountain top or the zenith, where you just want to feel that feeling and sensation one more time of reaching the Crack Cocaine's experience Apex!

As you pick your space between several attending Crack fiends, you've got everything necessary for your trip! The Dope Man has hit you off, you've paid your house fee to Smoke Crack on the premises now it's time to smoke. I have a abundance of money but I'm not in the mood to share or party with anyone! The last time I was here has left a bitter taste in my mouth. Everyone is there at least five people I know and have gotten high with on separate occasions, all making claims as to knowing me personally! I do know them all from getting high in the same neighborhood for over three years. Everyone one a separate Adventure & Story! Some experience's were good and some experiences bad but apparently now they all hope I have some sense of nostalgia from that last time we've all hung out individually. I pull out my Stem and my Chore boy as I start to put my pipe together. Some of the people become like parents nurturing a child offering to assist me in putting my Crack Pipe together. Apparently I don't know what I'm doing, the way I construct my pipe isn't efficient or insulated enough! I guess I waist too much Crack Vapor with my design & craftsmanship the way that I Smoke my Crack! It's such a pity I guess for them to see me waist so much Crack in this fashion as they sit watching Crackless, me not getting all the Crack for my buck!

I put my thing down and I'm not sharing or taking any assistance because every offer of friendship or favor has a price tag of a free hit of Crack associated with it. I just want to laugh smoke my shit talk some shit until I've had my fill and go. I load up a big hit on my pipe as they all sit leaning in on the edge of their seats watching me like starving animals watching a rotisserie smoked chicken wheel turning over a mesquite fire! Now I realize my dilemma, it's hard to enjoy yourself with everyone obviously staring at you like this. I mean you'd have to be a complete sociopath for that shit not to bother you as you go on enjoying yourself with out noticing all these fiends staring at you like hungry wolves in a Looney Tunes Cartoon! They all look so sad and you know just a little bit of these white flakes of crystallized cocaine will stop it all. Anyway I try to light my lighter and miss the first strike, without the skip of a beat people start sliding lighters across the tables, some even try to light my Crack for me. As if this is "Casablanca" with them being Bogart, so I guess I'm Ingrid Bergman or someone! It's just all to much I feel like a Pop star barraged by his fans an I just want to be regular!

So I hit the shit and it's good too, it temporarily debilitates me as I fall back on the couch stuck and trembling, I can feel everyone around me scrambling and getting alarm about emanate danger regarding my health! They're screaming my name over and over again the sensation of euphoria is great and strong rush from my brain, down my spinal column and out throughout the nerve endings of my central nervous system! It feels magnificent, I got a real good hit too, I can feel the smoke getting deep into both my lungs and I can hear bells ringing inside my head as I blow out the Crack smoke! Its a hell of a high after holding in the smoke for such a long time and denying yourself precious oxygen! It's like the Choking Game but on Crack! As I reanimate springing forth with signs of life everyone is all laughing and joking about how they thought for a minute I was going to die. Frita is kind of scared though, she sees me hold my chest she thinks my heart is going into A-fib and maybe it is, so she offers me some aspirin and water, but I'm not afraid, I'm strong and I'm sure it will pass.

All of a sudden I'm receiving the Five Star Crack heads treatment! As I walk around the house trying to gather myself three of the girls in the room have approached me quietly offering their sexual services to me! I'm not interested as the other three men tell fantasies of how they would normally share their Crack when they were in position to. As Frita just fucking begins to looses it, she says, "Pipe that's fucked up you smoking all your shit up and ain't even offer me none!" The shit has drove her crazy after several years day after day after day of substance abuse. She's forgotten or maybe she thinks I've forgotten. I say, "Frita I gave you twenty dollar before I began getting high." She starts to dispute about the twenty dollars in question! Beginning to corner me as she yells at the top of her voice at the foot of the steps and I say with a exhale of disbelief & disappointment, I want to leave, please move out of my way! She places her hand on the banister as to gesture that I can't leave until I pay! A voice of empathy cries out from behind her in sympathy, It's Helen a older black woman, "Frita just let him go!" Unfortunately for herself and everyone in this room she's made a very bad decision. Because I'm not a punk nor am I afraid of anyone or anything!

Now I've gone inside desensitized to everything and something has come over me and I will do what I have to do to survive! I try to rush my way past her to the door as she cocks back throwing a wild right that I easily walk underneath of as I spin around behind pushing her face first into the corner! As it all happens I'm just reacting, totally in the moment! Some dark skin guy jumps up and takes a jab me with a pin Knife! Though it was all probably moving fast at that time to me I could see everything slowing down as he fumbled to get the 3' blade out of his pocket and opened! I should have struck him then in retrospect but I'm watching him just as intrigued to see what he's trying to do as he was trying to do it! As he makes this already seen lunge towards me everyone is screaming, "NO NO NO" as if this has all gone on too soon, too far and should be stopped! I guess by popular Crack House consensus this was all not worth some bloodshed! It's early too maybe like 5:30pm this could fuck up everyone day! Before they can all fret, I twist side ways letting this slow motion trust go right past my collar bone and chin! Then just like Mayweather on the return counter right hand punch from a shoulder role went straight down the middle of this dudes face like a 7/10 Split! He was out cold before he even hit the ground. Sprawled out hard against the hard wood floor. He made a hard thud as he hit the deck, while the pin knife makes a crackle drop sound like marbles being pored out on a counter top. I get a immediate adrenaline rush from the excitement that has all just replayed back through my mind and I realize I'm unscratched.

 As I look around into every ones face they are all horrified as if a sleeping monster has been awakened. I always told them I didn't take any shit and if any situation was to arise I'd be able to protect myself! Now as they see it with their own eyes they all sit in suspended horror as to who will be my next victim that I lay my hands on! So I give them what they want to see! I raise my hands above my head and start to threaten everyone! Jumping bad screaming at everyone doing the flinch game as I walk back and forth and then over to my pipe and Crack still sitting on the table exactly where I left it. I Load up my stem one more time with the whole other half of my twenty while everyone watches me in silence. Lisa tries to get up speaking to herself "This shit is crazy I got to go!" I reach out in her direction with my lighter hand extended and my my eyes cut evilly & peripherally in her direction as I say so coldly DON'T FUCKING MOVE!!!! An she didn't, while I struck my lighter hit my Crack taking me a nice good hit on top of all this adrenaline now being accelerated by cocaine smoke! It's almost too much to ingest at once, I drool while wiping my chin, stumbling side to side as Helen mumbles under her breathe, "this shit don't make no damn sense" I look around as I come up from my high! Everyone is still on pin & needles while I look around! It's time to go Frita's sitting over top of the floored guy with everyone else sharing a look of false imprisonment! Picking up a roll of toilette paper from the coffee table I wrap up my hot uncool-ed Crack Pipe and make my way through a tight isle of legs & edge of a coffee table, making my way out of the Dead Silent Crack house living room!!!!